10 things mentally strong project managers do

I have been reading the book ’13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do’ by Amy Morin. Here is my perspective on it from a project manager’s point of view.

As a project manager, you deal with complex projects and subject matter experts, navigate politics and strong personalities. It can be a tough job having to work out the details and mentally stressful bringing it all together. You need to use all your collaborative and emotional intelligence skills to communicate with stakeholders. You act as the catalyst to get the project chemistry going. You are the peacemaker when things don’t go right. You ensure everyone’s viewpoint is appropriately considered as the mediator. It can be exhausting, keep you awake at night, but it is rewarding to resolve these complex problems. Although the project is tough if you are mentally strong you can make it work. Here are ten strong habits that are needed to be a mentally strong project manager.

1. Mentally strong project managers replace self-pity with gratitude.

It happens every day: something unexpected occurs, and suddenly that well-planned project is at risk. We don’t quite know how to solve it or who to talk to. We have an idea of what it might take to solve the problem. We begin with what we know and who we know. We ask straightforward questions. This moves us forward.

Unexpected Technical Issues: Imagine you are managing a software development project. Suddenly, you discover a critical bug just before the release date. Instead of panicking, you gather your team, discuss potential solutions, and assign tasks based on each member’s expertise. You appreciate your team’s skills. By collaborating effectively, you fix the bug. You successfully deliver the project on time.

Team Conflicts: During a marketing campaign, two team members have a disagreement that threatens to derail the project. Instead of letting the conflict escalate, you mediate the situation, encourage open communication, and help them find common ground. By appreciating their perspectives and fostering collaboration, you turn a potential crisis into an opportunity for team growth.

A key part of this process is being thankful every day for the people and problems we encounter. Each problem is an opportunity to learn something new and meet someone new. We need to be appreciative for the colleagues we work with. Each has a unique talent that can contribute to the solution in a different way. If we start with an attitude of being thankful for the problem, we can find a solution together. We should also be grateful for the people involved.

2. Mentally strong project managers hold onto their power and forgive others.

Understanding Personal Struggles: A good project manager recognizes that their colleagues might be dealing with personal issues. These could include a difficult relationship, caring for an elderly relative, or lack of sleep due to a sick child. When critical comments are made or hurtful things are said, they don’t take it personally. Instead, they practice forgiveness and maintain their power by not responding in a retaliatory way.

Practicing Forgiveness: When things go wrong, colleagues make mistakes or say hurtful things. Choosing to forgive is the best approach. Do not hold grudges. Holding onto resentment can drain energy and power. By forgiving others, you maintain your emotional strength and can focus on finding solutions.

Maintaining Professionalism: In challenging situations with team members, actions or words might disrupt the project. Mentally strong project managers stay calm and remain composed. They address the issue in a professional manner. They also forgive the individual. They work towards resolving the conflict without letting it affect their leadership or the project’s progress.

3. Mentally strong project managers are always ready to embrace change.

The essence of project management lies in managing change and transforming something from point A to point B. Managing change is the project manager’s superpower. It involves harnessing the raw talent of the team. The team must be organized and managed into a high-performing unit. This unit delivers outstanding results in a product or service.

However, we recognize that change is difficult. We are all creatures of habit, following a set routine every day that works for us. A new project or way of doing things can challenge that routine. It requires bringing everyone on the journey. The project manager needs to be the catalyst that inspires, motivates, and overcomes the problems to deliver this.

Implementing New Technology: A company that decides to implement new technology must have the project manager guide the team. This guidance helps during the transition. This involves training team members, addressing their concerns, and ensuring that the new technology is integrated smoothly into existing processes. The project manager’s ability to manage change is crucial. Inspiring confidence in the team is also essential for the successful adoption of the new technology.

Launching a New Product: When launching a new product, the project manager must coordinate various departments. These include marketing, sales, and production. This coordination ensures a successful launch. This involves managing timelines, resources, and expectations while keeping the team motivated and aligned with the project’s goals. The project manager must effectively manage change. Leading the team through the launch process is crucial. Both elements are essential for achieving outstanding results.

4. Mentally strong project managers don’t get distracted by things they can’t control.

As project managers, we often find ourselves in situations without the power to compel someone to act. Most project managers work in matrix organizations where we lack the authority to demand action from others. Instead, we must negotiate, inspire, and challenge people to support us in the project. However, there are inevitably some things we cannot change. For example, a policy is a decision made by the executive team. It determines the direction the company will take. Rather than getting distracted by these unchangeable factors, we focus on what we can influence.

Leading by Example: Demonstrating the behaviors and attitudes you wish to see in your team can be powerful. It can inspire others. When team members see you handling challenges with resilience and a positive attitude, they are more likely to follow suit.

Empowering Others: Give your team members ownership of their tasks and responsibilities. This can lead to increased motivation and commitment. When people feel valued and trusted, they are more likely to go above and beyond to support the project.

Adapting to Change: Flexibility and adaptability are crucial in project management. Be open to new ideas. Be willing to adjust your plans as needed. This can help you navigate the complexities of a matrix organization. This also involves being proactive in identifying potential obstacles and finding creative solutions.

Focusing on Solutions: Stop dwelling on problems beyond your control. Instead, concentrate on finding solutions to the challenges you can address. This proactive approach can help you maintain momentum and keep the project moving forward.

5. Mentally Strong Project managers are not afraid to make the unpopular decision

You can’t please all the people all the time. The struggle between cost, time, and quality is a daily reality. A strong project manager will make decisions that benefit the project the most, even if they are unpopular. For instance, it might be a no-go decision due to a quality issue. This issue will cost the company money in the short term. However, in the long term, it will deliver a more profitable outcome for the company.

Everyone wants to be liked and accepted, but sometimes you need to make yourself unpopular to get things done. You have to send that challenging email. You know it will not be well-received by the recipient. However, it is the right thing to do. Strong project managers have a keen sense of right and wrong. They are always looking to deliver the best solution. This may cause some unpopularity in the short term.

Balancing Stakeholder Expectations: In any project, there are multiple stakeholders with varying expectations. A strong project manager must navigate these expectations and make decisions that align with the project’s goals. This might mean prioritizing certain tasks over others or reallocating resources, even if it means disappointing some stakeholders.

Communicating Transparently: Transparency is key when making tough decisions. A strong project manager communicates the reasons behind their decisions clearly and honestly. This helps build trust and understanding, even if the decision is not popular. By explaining the long-term benefits, the project manager can help stakeholders see the bigger picture. They can also clarify the rationale behind the decision.

Staying Resilient Under Pressure: Making unpopular decisions can be challenging, but a strong project manager remains resilient. They stay focused on the project’s objectives and do not let negative feedback deter them. This resilience helps them navigate difficult situations and keep the project on track.

Learning from Unpopular Decisions: Every decision, whether popular or not, provides an opportunity for learning. A strong project manager reflects on the outcomes of their decisions and seeks feedback from the team. This continuous learning process helps them improve their decision-making skills and better handle similar situations in the future.

Building a Supportive Team Culture: A strong project manager fosters a team culture where difficult decisions are understood and respected. They encourage open communication and mutual support. This creates an environment where team members feel valued. They remain motivated even when faced with challenging decisions.

6. Mentally Strong Project managers are not afraid of taking calculated risks.

Sometimes there is a process that needs to be followed. The RACI (Responsible, Accountable, Consulted, and Informed) matrix must be adhered to. We need to submit form X to person Y to get permission to proceed. However, a mentally strong project manager is not afraid to break the process if it is wrong. This should be done very seldomly and only after a careful analysis of the pros and cons. Sometimes, gut instinct takes over, and you know in your heart of hearts that you need to take this risk. Mentally strong project managers take calculated risks.

Evaluating the Impact: Before breaking a process, the PM evaluate the potential impact on the project and the organization. The PM considers how the decision will affect timelines, resources, and stakeholders. This thorough evaluation helps them make informed decisions that are in the best interest of the project.

Seeking Input from Others: Such as colleagues and stakeholders before making a risky decision. They value diverse perspectives and use this input to weigh the pros and cons. This collaborative approach ensures that they have considered all angles before taking action.

Documenting the Decision: When breaking a process, it is important to document the decision and the rationale behind it. This documentation provides a clear record of why the decision was made and can be useful for future reference. It also helps in maintaining transparency and accountability.

Communicating Clearly: Clear communication is essential when breaking a process. Mentally strong project managers ensure that all relevant parties are informed about the decision and understand the reasons behind it. This helps in managing expectations and minimizing resistance.

Learning from the Experience: After taking a calculated risk, mentally strong project managers reflect on the outcome. They learn from what happened. They analyze what went well and what could have been done differently. This continuous learning process helps them improve their decision-making skills and better handle similar situations in the future.

7. Mentally strong project managers avoid repeating the same mistakes, and this requires self-discipline.

A good retrospective is always a valuable exercise where we look at the mistakes made in a project. It allows us to learn from them, avoid repeating the same mistakes, and find ways to improve our approach. Knowing that you made a mistake and stopping yourself from repeating it requires self-discipline. A mentally strong project manager is a very disciplined person.

Focus on the goal: You need to focus on the objective you are trying to achieve. Visualize how great it will be to successfully deliver the project. This positive visualization can help keep you motivated and focused on your goals.

Know your self: Make a list of the known mistakes you made and don’t want to repeat. Reflect on this list daily to ensure you don’t fall back into old habits. This constant reflection helps reinforce the lessons learned and keeps you on track.

Continuous learning: Finally, you need to be continually learning and identifying where your gaps are. Figure out how you can turn previous failures into successes. This ongoing learning process is crucial for personal and professional growth.

8. Mentally strong project managers don’t envy other people’s success but rather seek to collaborate with them.

Delivering a complex project can be tough. No one understands the hoops you’ve had to jump through to achieve it. Then, a colleague is recognized for something that seems quite simple and gets promoted. This is the age-old challenge of comparing yourself with others. The reality is that there will always be someone better at your job than you. They are cleverer, more intelligent, more polished, or sometimes life just isn’t fair.

Learning from Success: A colleague is promoted for their excellent communication skills. A mentally strong project manager will take note of this. They seek to improve their own communication abilities. They attend workshops, seek feedback, and practice active listening to enhance their skills.

A mentally strong project manager doesn’t take it personally but looks at what they can learn from that colleague. They identify the gaps and figure out what they need to learn to become a better version of themselves. We don’t need to compromise our morals or ethics. However, we need to be brutally honest about our shortcomings. Then, we must work to overcome them.

Acknowledging Strengths: A team member is recognized for their innovative problem-solving. The project manager then reflects on their own approach to problem-solving. They adopt new techniques, such as brainstorming sessions or mind mapping, to foster creativity within their team.

We all have blind spots. We go down the envy route when we haven’t acknowledged there is something we need to do better. Instead, look to collaborate with others’ success and see what you can learn.

Collaborating for Growth: A project manager should not feel envious of a colleague’s success. They might collaborate with them on future projects. By working together, they can learn from each other’s strengths and create a more dynamic and effective team.

9. Mentally strong projects managers have grit and determination

This is the core of being a mentally strong project manager: you don’t give up. You persevere until you find a way forward. There are many smart people, but many of them will give up before they succeed. What makes the difference is those who keep going despite setback after setback. Building momentum in problem-solving and not giving up is the exciting challenge of any project. At the start, no one may know how they will solve the problem. Thomas Edison didn’t give up when his first attempts at making a light bulb failed. Instead, he just confirmed another way of not doing it.

Perseverance wins: First, get rid of unhealthy beliefs about success and failure. In the face of resistance, it’s easy to make excuses that you’re just not talented enough. Well, that’s not true – science shows that regular practice will trump natural talent. If you put in enough hours, you’ll most likely overtake anyone who doesn’t. The same goes for IQ. IQ is a rather lousy predictor of success. Yes, being smart might give you a head start. However, perseverance has proven to be far more important. This is especially true when it comes to long-term achievement.

Practice self-compassion: Self-compassion can be key when facing challenging times. More often than not, you are your harshest critic. But being too hard on yourself can result in resignation, falsely believing that you’re just not good enough. Instead, try being as compassionate with yourself as you would be with a friend. Nobody is perfect, yourself included. Be kind towards your own weaknesses. That will help you develop a realistic view of what’s possible and what’s not.

10. Mentally strong project managers concentrate on giving rather than taking.

A good project manager is always looking at working smarter rather than harder. This involves investing in people. It includes helping them succeed and encouraging others when they are low. You must also be the motivator when the project seems to have lost its way. This takes a lot of energy, but the disciplined project manager is not afraid to invest in relationships.

Investing in People: A good project manager understands that the success of a project largely depends on the team. By investing in their development, providing training opportunities, and recognizing their achievements, you can build a motivated and high-performing team.

In most projects, the hard truth is that change is difficult, and progress is not always immediately apparent. It’s a question of how you handle this. If you are easily discouraged, you might abandon the project prematurely. You need to set yourself realistic expectations. If you expect everything to work perfectly the first time, you are setting yourself up for disappointment.

Encouraging a Growth Mindset: Inspire your team to adopt a growth mindset. In this mindset, they see challenges as opportunities to learn. They also see them as chances to grow. This mindset can help them stay resilient in the face of setbacks and continuously improve their skills.

Set challenging deadlines for yourself. You will be surprised how a team will find solutions once they realize you are serious about meeting those deadlines. If you give up easily, you may never succeed, so you need to practice perseverance. Practice self-discipline and keep repeating your efforts until you succeed.

Celebrating Small Wins: Celebrate small wins along the way to keep the team motivated. Recognizing and celebrating progress, no matter how small, can boost morale and keep the team focused on the end goal.

In conclusion, being a mentally strong project manager involves a combination of perseverance, adaptability, and emotional intelligence. It’s about recognizing that setbacks are part of the journey and using them as opportunities to learn and grow. Focus on what you can control. Invest in your team’s development. Maintain a positive attitude. In doing so, you can navigate the complexities of any project. Remember, it’s not about being perfect. It’s about continuously striving to improve. Focus on finding solutions even in the face of challenges. Embrace the journey, celebrate the small wins, and keep pushing forward. Your resilience and determination will ultimately lead to success.